Olympic Parenting

    If parenting was an Olympic sport what events would we be watching on television this week? Which do you think you would be best qualified to compete in (and potentially win the gold)? Which do you think would be the funnest to watch (hey, its always funner WATCHING another mom trying to hold an active toddler in diaper changing possition than it is participating in the same activity).

   So, I have come up with some events I would love to challenge the Olympians to try:

•  Speed diapering (while keeping hands, furniture and walls feces free)

•  Unidentified flying object ducking (bonus points of they don't get a concussion or black eye)

•  Spilt milk sopping (before a child or pet tracks it throughout the arena)

•  Tantrum diffusing (to be done without actually speeding up time to complete meltdown)

•  Binky seek (would be most entertaining to watch in a toddler-trashed house, and be reminiscent of the old Nickelodeon slime shows...would be even better if they actually added slime)

• The lactation long-shot and the more precision focused event "directional lactation"

AND HEAVYWEIGHT DIVISION EVENTS (dealing with older children)

•  Broken toy tossing (before anyone notices the damage our loss of said toy)

• Fire sniffing (disqualification if the arena gets burnt down)

•  Broken window prevention (there is potential for a baseball event, and a BB gun event here)

Of course there would have to be a parenting Olympic triathlon as well, but instead of events being separated as in spring triathlons this would have to be three events accomplished simultaniously (for realism purposes). So I propose:

• Grocery shopping (without acquiring unlisted items)

• Diaper blowout (sans diaper bag)

• Emergency phone call from teenager (involving one of the following: first love break up, car accident on a learners permit, or call from jail)

So, while I will not be viewing the actual Olympics, I would just LOVE to watch some of those world class athletes try to compete with the acrobatic skills I have seen demonstrated by average everyday mamas.

Now and Then

Every once in a while I get to thinking about how much my life has changed. The biggest change for me has been the way I think, and view the world. I been raised in an everyday all American home, with normal mainstream ideas and ideals. Then, ten years ago I had my first child. They say children change everything but I had no clue how much. Things didn't change overnight, of course. I started off my journey in parenthood doing everything "normal", following all the rules and advice handed down by more experienced parents and doctors and the common child rearing handbooks (like "What To Expect", and "The Girlfriends Guides") that conveniently echoed the words of wisdom the aforementioned resources gave me.
Incidentally, I have an infant child now that is the same age as my first son was back those ten short years ago (and I have two others in between, now ages 8 and 2). At several different points in time between then and now I came to the conclusion that listening to everyone else and following their advice was just not working for me, or my kids. Those other people didn't have to live in my home and face the consequences of their advice, I did. So we made changes, some little and gradually, others huge and abruptly....and never without resistance from those omniscient advice givers who were offended at my audacity of choosing my parenting and family lifestyle path for myself instead of continuing down the path most often followed.

So let's see what a few major and minor changes amount to in one short decade...

NOW vs. THEN:
•attachment parenting vs. authoritarian parenting

• Cloth diapers (and wicked cute covers and snaps) vs. disposables (and dioxin burns, and sticky tape tabs)

• Naturopaths, homeopaths, chiropractors, vs. Pediatricians

• Home remedies and self treatment vs. Emergency room trips

• Home birth vs. hospital birth (cesarean)

• Coconut oil vs Mary Kay

• Baking soda and apple cider vinegar vs. shampoo and conditioner

• Whole food vs. genetically modified, pesticide sprayed, boxed, bagged, prepackaged, nutrient depleted wannabe food

• Intact immune systems vs. vaccine compromised

• Homemade cleaning supplies vs. Tide, shout, Windex

• Vinegar and sunshine vs. bleach

• Unschooling vs. regular school

• Garlic and homeopathic remedies vs. antibiotics and antivirals

• Stay at home mom vs. working full time and attending college full time (I missed so much)

And most recently...

• Gluten free vs. whole grain

So many things can change in such a short amount of time and I'm so glad. I can't even imagine (nor do I want to) what life would be like for my family if I had not started taking steps off the beaten path.  I hope to continue being adaptable and make whatever changes necessary to offer my children the best opportunities for them that I can. I hope they learn from watching, so they can continue to change and grow instead of wallowing when they have moments and situations in their lives that aren't working for them.

Writing this list out, I can't help but wonder what the next ten years will bring, and what I  would be able to add on this then. I'll just have to wait and see....